Stripes, duck faces, and TGIF

Dear World (including, and especially, little Mandy):

How do I start this thing off? I will do it the best way that I know how to do things - loudly and messily, and usually resulting in more frustration and drama than completely necessary. This, my friends, is me:

Happy, sweaty, and laughing -- I am usually a mixture of those three things it seems...

I haven't always been a Vidal Sassoon/L'Oreal/Lucky Jeans model - carefree and flying around the world in my private jet high above the common folk. Once upon a time, I was a little bit of a somewhat clueless, bossy, nosy, chubby little girl with a loud voice and giant glasses. Hard to believe, isn't it? Well you're in luck - I have proof. See if you can spot me, circa 2nd grade:

I'll give you some time to pick me out. 3, 2 - oh, that was fast.

Yes, my friends... Even before photo bombing was a thing that kids these days were obsessed with, I had mastered the art -- and photo bombed the school picture of my 2/3 split class. Aahhh, what form and poise.

Seeing me there in all of my striped glory brings back so many memories and emotions. I have struggled for a long time to love myself for the awesome person that I am. And even today, at the age of 30, I struggle. Every day is a battle against my inner monologue - an exercise in saying "forget you!" to what people may think of me. I have an amazing family, wonderful friends, and a fabulous boyfriend who all love me for who I am inside and out... And I'm so blessed to have that.

But striped, duck face (yes, even before making duck facing was popular, folks!), chubby baby Mandy had to learn the hard way in a lot of things. And I have so much that I wish that I could say to her now, and to say to anyone else who has a little kid inside of them that had hard times. Kids can be so cruel -- and I'm not just talking about other kids -- I'm talking about our most harsh critics... ourselves.

And so I will write to the Mandy's of the past and the Mandy's of the future... I will explain that things will get better, things can get worse, and that we all have soooooo much more authority and power to change those things than we realize in the moment.

I say this all now because hindsight is 20/20... but back then I just thought that was a terrible news show that my parents watched after TGIF. Ahh, if only things ended blissfully after Step by Step every night, right?

Mandylightfully Yours,
M <3